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Delivery-date: Fri, 19 Jan 2024 16:19:32 -0500
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References: <CAGYxLCAzrFyjswzQfp1O0p0ZyZaHAgdkeMPCBCfHNWFppu0yVw@mail.gmail.com>
 <94125c77a6cd674e50032e33b5939707@garderiekiddykat.com>
In-Reply-To: <94125c77a6cd674e50032e33b5939707@garderiekiddykat.com>
From: Will Attar <willyattar@gmail.com>
Date: Fri, 19 Jan 2024 16:18:38 -0500
Message-ID: <CAGYxLCA0n0SPoNu-iLsQ1AwvLtzBV5LmnoYvksWg0WEx_0eHOg@mail.gmail.com>
Subject: Re: Concern With Ben
To: Marnie Dideles <ad@garderiekiddykat.com>
Cc: Amelie Martins <eamartins@gmail.com>, 
	"Garderie Kiddy Kat Inc." <garderiekidykat@gmail.com>
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Hi Marnie,

Thank you for the explanation. To be honest, I am not assured by your
response.

It seems like for someone who=E2=80=99s there in case of emergencies she=E2=
=80=99s there
quite often. I would say she=E2=80=99s definitely there on a regular basis =
and
alone with the children, or at least Ben. If she isn=E2=80=99t a qualified
educator, is does she meet the legal requirements and training that
childcare providers are normally obligated to follow and renew? This
doesn=E2=80=99t help ease my worry about leaving Ben alone with her at all.

I don=E2=80=99t think the issue is that she needs to have Ben=E2=80=99s tem=
perament or
character explained to her. In fact, Ben=E2=80=99s character and temperamen=
t around
her are unique and the cause of concern. He=E2=80=99s not like this about a=
nyone
else in our lives. He is truly uncomfortable and scared to be left with
her. While I=E2=80=99m sure you don=E2=80=99t mean it this way, it seems li=
ke you=E2=80=99re
placing the blame/problem on Ben instead of looking into the concern and
asking =E2=80=9CWhat=E2=80=99s actually going on here? Why does he have thi=
s unique
behavior around her?=E2=80=9D I=E2=80=99m sure this is one of the reasons w=
hy the daycare
has cameras to begin with.

I hope you understand why I=E2=80=99m still concerned. I am asking again fo=
r some
sort of investigation or a commit to have a qualified educator present
anytime she=E2=80=99s there. I need to know that if we have a concern, you =
will be
addressing it with a matching level of concern.

Thanks,

Will Attar


On Fri, Jan 19, 2024 at 11:08=E2=80=AFAM Marnie Dideles <ad@garderiekiddyka=
t.com>
wrote:

> Hi Will and Amelie,
>
> Thank you so much for email and for voicing your concern. It's important
> for us to know that parents feel comfortable to bring up any concerns
> they have with their child and our center and we appreciate you.
>
> In regards to your concern with Ben and Ms Ghazala, the first thing I
> will say is that she is part of our on-call replacement staff and is not
> with the children on a regular basis. In addition to that, she isn't a
> qualified educator and so comes from a position of a devoted mom and
> grandmother. Rest assured that she truly has the children's best
> intention at heart.
>
> However we hear your concerns about how she has been trying to receive
> him during morning drop off. We will give her more insight on Ben's
> temperament and character and ensure that she give him a little bit more
> space in the mornings. We will provide her with additional guidance in
> different ways to connect with the children without so much physical
> touch.
>
> Again, she is only an on-call replacement staff and so she is only
> called in times of emergencies. I hope this provides some clarity and
> reassurance. Don't hesitate to reach out should you have any more
> concerns.
>
> Best regards,
>
> ---
> Marnie Dideles; Assistant Director
>
> Garderie Kiddy Kat  ad@garderiekiddykat.com
>
> On 2024-01-19 08:59, Will Attar wrote:
> > Hi Mehwaish and Marnie!
> >
> > I hope everything is well with you this morning. I wanted to raise a
> > concern that we've been having lately.
> >
> > Usually, Ben is excited to go to school and loves being and kiddy kat.
> > He's excited to arrive in the morning and see Ms Taz, and at the end
> > of the day we have to fight him to leave (you've seen it yourself). He
> > loves his teachers, the lessons, the toys, and his love of the daycare
> > is why we love it.
> >
> > The only exception is when it comes to Ms Ghazela. Sorry if that's now
> > how you spell her name.
> >
> > If she's there, Ben has no interest in being in the building. He
> > cannot get away fast enough. Normally, Ben is usually very friendly
> > and welcoming of people as long as they respect his personal
> > boundaries and give him space if he wants it. He may start off shy,
> > but he quickly warms up and gets back to his playful self. Something
> > about Ms Ghazela makes him incredibly uncomfortable and unhappy.
> >
> > I've witnessed a few things I know I haven't been happy with in terms
> > of her behavior. She's a bit overly affectionate, telling the kids
> > repeatedly that she loves them and grabbing their faces to give them a
> > kiss (which I don't think any educator should do to any child, and
> > I've seen her do it since Ben was a baby). She will also keep
> > hammering him with questions and overwhelm him when he's focussed on
> > something else. At the end of the day he'll want to show us stuff or
> > tell us stuff, and she'll keep interrupting him and asking him to say
> > her name and give her a hug. In the mornings, she'll make stuff up and
> > try to lure him away from, and then tell us to leave while he's
> > distracted. We're very much against this (we've told her multiple
> > times) because this sneaky ditch does nothing to build trust with our
> > child.
> >
> > The disdain that Ben has for her is not normal, and has me very
> > concerned. It's been going on for a while, but it's only gotten worse.
> > I'm at the point where I don't know if I can trust leaving Ben with
> > her in the morning, especially if they're alone. I don't know what's
> > going on and I can't be there to watch.
> >
> > I'd like you to please investigate. I can't have a situation like this
> > where I'm not comfortable with the educator I'm leaving my child with.
> > I need him to know that I value his safety and comfort, and more
> > importantly if something is going on, I need to know I raised the
> > flags and took action instead of brushing it off. Any lack of trust in
> > this situation means I have to consider other early-education options
> > for Ben.
> >
> > I know there are cameras in the daycare, so if possible maybe check
> > what's going on when she's there in the morning with him. I need
> > answers or a solution for this, please.
> >
> > Thanks for everything you've both done for the kids and the daycare so
> > far. I know there have been a lot of challenges in the past year, but
> > I do feel like an upward tick is starting for Kiddy Kat.
> >
> > Best,
> >
> > Will Attar
>

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<div dir=3D"auto">Hi Marnie,=C2=A0</div><div dir=3D"auto"><br></div><div di=
r=3D"auto">Thank you for the explanation. To be honest, I am not assured by=
 your response.=C2=A0</div><div dir=3D"auto"><br></div><div dir=3D"auto">It=
 seems like for someone who=E2=80=99s there in case of emergencies she=E2=
=80=99s there quite often. I would say she=E2=80=99s definitely there on a =
regular basis and alone with the children, or at least Ben. If she isn=E2=
=80=99t a qualified educator, is does she meet the legal requirements and t=
raining that childcare providers are normally obligated to follow and renew=
? This doesn=E2=80=99t help ease my worry about leaving Ben alone with her =
at all.=C2=A0</div><div dir=3D"auto"><br></div><div dir=3D"auto">I don=E2=
=80=99t think the issue is that she needs to have Ben=E2=80=99s temperament=
 or character explained to her. In fact, Ben=E2=80=99s character and temper=
ament around her are unique and the cause of concern. He=E2=80=99s not like=
 this about anyone else in our lives. He is truly uncomfortable and scared =
to be left with her. W<span style=3D"background-color:rgba(0,0,0,0);border-=
color:rgb(0,0,0);color:rgb(0,0,0)">hile I=E2=80=99m sure you don=E2=80=99t =
mean it this way, it seems like you=E2=80=99re placing the blame/problem on=
 Ben instead of looking into the concern and asking =E2=80=9CWhat=E2=80=99s=
 actually going on here? Why does he have this unique behavior around her?=
=E2=80=9D I=E2=80=99m sure this is one of the reasons why the daycare has c=
ameras to begin with.=C2=A0</span><br></div><div dir=3D"auto"><br></div><di=
v dir=3D"auto">I hope you understand why I=E2=80=99m still concerned. I am =
asking again for some sort of investigation or a commit to have a qualified=
 educator present anytime she=E2=80=99s there. I need to know that if we ha=
ve a concern, you will be addressing it with a matching level of concern.=
=C2=A0</div><div dir=3D"auto"><br></div><div dir=3D"auto">Thanks,</div><div=
 dir=3D"auto"><br></div><div dir=3D"auto">Will Attar</div><div dir=3D"auto"=
><br></div><div><br><div class=3D"gmail_quote"><div dir=3D"ltr" class=3D"gm=
ail_attr">On Fri, Jan 19, 2024 at 11:08=E2=80=AFAM Marnie Dideles &lt;<a hr=
ef=3D"mailto:ad@garderiekiddykat.com">ad@garderiekiddykat.com</a>&gt; wrote=
:<br></div><blockquote class=3D"gmail_quote" style=3D"margin:0px 0px 0px 0.=
8ex;border-left-width:1px;border-left-style:solid;padding-left:1ex;border-l=
eft-color:rgb(204,204,204)">Hi Will and Amelie,<br>
<br>
Thank you so much for email and for voicing your concern. It&#39;s importan=
t <br>
for us to know that parents feel comfortable to bring up any concerns <br>
they have with their child and our center and we appreciate you.<br>
<br>
In regards to your concern with Ben and Ms Ghazala, the first thing I <br>
will say is that she is part of our on-call replacement staff and is not <b=
r>
with the children on a regular basis. In addition to that, she isn&#39;t a =
<br>
qualified educator and so comes from a position of a devoted mom and <br>
grandmother. Rest assured that she truly has the children&#39;s best <br>
intention at heart.<br>
<br>
However we hear your concerns about how she has been trying to receive <br>
him during morning drop off. We will give her more insight on Ben&#39;s <br=
>
temperament and character and ensure that she give him a little bit more <b=
r>
space in the mornings. We will provide her with additional guidance in <br>
different ways to connect with the children without so much physical <br>
touch.<br>
<br>
Again, she is only an on-call replacement staff and so she is only <br>
called in times of emergencies. I hope this provides some clarity and <br>
reassurance. Don&#39;t hesitate to reach out should you have any more <br>
concerns.<br>
<br>
Best regards,<br>
<br>
---<br>
Marnie Dideles; Assistant Director<br>
<br>
Garderie Kiddy Kat=C2=A0 <a href=3D"mailto:ad@garderiekiddykat.com" target=
=3D"_blank">ad@garderiekiddykat.com</a><br>
<br>
On 2024-01-19 08:59, Will Attar wrote:<br>
&gt; Hi Mehwaish and Marnie!<br>
&gt; <br>
&gt; I hope everything is well with you this morning. I wanted to raise a<b=
r>
&gt; concern that we&#39;ve been having lately.<br>
&gt; <br>
&gt; Usually, Ben is excited to go to school and loves being and kiddy kat.=
<br>
&gt; He&#39;s excited to arrive in the morning and see Ms Taz, and at the e=
nd<br>
&gt; of the day we have to fight him to leave (you&#39;ve seen it yourself)=
. He<br>
&gt; loves his teachers, the lessons, the toys, and his love of the daycare=
<br>
&gt; is why we love it.<br>
&gt; <br>
&gt; The only exception is when it comes to Ms Ghazela. Sorry if that&#39;s=
 now<br>
&gt; how you spell her name.<br>
&gt; <br>
&gt; If she&#39;s there, Ben has no interest in being in the building. He<b=
r>
&gt; cannot get away fast enough. Normally, Ben is usually very friendly<br=
>
&gt; and welcoming of people as long as they respect his personal<br>
&gt; boundaries and give him space if he wants it. He may start off shy,<br=
>
&gt; but he quickly warms up and gets back to his playful self. Something<b=
r>
&gt; about Ms Ghazela makes him incredibly uncomfortable and unhappy.<br>
&gt; <br>
&gt; I&#39;ve witnessed a few things I know I haven&#39;t been happy with i=
n terms<br>
&gt; of her behavior. She&#39;s a bit overly affectionate, telling the kids=
<br>
&gt; repeatedly that she loves them and grabbing their faces to give them a=
<br>
&gt; kiss (which I don&#39;t think any educator should do to any child, and=
<br>
&gt; I&#39;ve seen her do it since Ben was a baby). She will also keep<br>
&gt; hammering him with questions and overwhelm him when he&#39;s focussed =
on<br>
&gt; something else. At the end of the day he&#39;ll want to show us stuff =
or<br>
&gt; tell us stuff, and she&#39;ll keep interrupting him and asking him to =
say<br>
&gt; her name and give her a hug. In the mornings, she&#39;ll make stuff up=
 and<br>
&gt; try to lure him away from, and then tell us to leave while he&#39;s<br=
>
&gt; distracted. We&#39;re very much against this (we&#39;ve told her multi=
ple<br>
&gt; times) because this sneaky ditch does nothing to build trust with our<=
br>
&gt; child.<br>
&gt; <br>
&gt; The disdain that Ben has for her is not normal, and has me very<br>
&gt; concerned. It&#39;s been going on for a while, but it&#39;s only gotte=
n worse.<br>
&gt; I&#39;m at the point where I don&#39;t know if I can trust leaving Ben=
 with<br>
&gt; her in the morning, especially if they&#39;re alone. I don&#39;t know =
what&#39;s<br>
&gt; going on and I can&#39;t be there to watch.<br>
&gt; <br>
&gt; I&#39;d like you to please investigate. I can&#39;t have a situation l=
ike this<br>
&gt; where I&#39;m not comfortable with the educator I&#39;m leaving my chi=
ld with.<br>
&gt; I need him to know that I value his safety and comfort, and more<br>
&gt; importantly if something is going on, I need to know I raised the<br>
&gt; flags and took action instead of brushing it off. Any lack of trust in=
<br>
&gt; this situation means I have to consider other early-education options<=
br>
&gt; for Ben.<br>
&gt; <br>
&gt; I know there are cameras in the daycare, so if possible maybe check<br=
>
&gt; what&#39;s going on when she&#39;s there in the morning with him. I ne=
ed<br>
&gt; answers or a solution for this, please.<br>
&gt; <br>
&gt; Thanks for everything you&#39;ve both done for the kids and the daycar=
e so<br>
&gt; far. I know there have been a lot of challenges in the past year, but<=
br>
&gt; I do feel like an upward tick is starting for Kiddy Kat.<br>
&gt; <br>
&gt; Best,<br>
&gt; <br>
&gt; Will Attar<br>
</blockquote></div></div>

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