Return-Path: Delivered-To: ad@garderiekiddykat.com Received: from cl-t211-187cl.majeunesse.ca by cl-t211-187cl.majeunesse.ca with LMTP id UBmwGKmzrmXUTgAAV5eKQw (envelope-from ) for ; Mon, 22 Jan 2024 13:27:53 -0500 Return-path: Envelope-to: ad@garderiekiddykat.com Delivery-date: Mon, 22 Jan 2024 13:27:53 -0500 Received: from mail-vk1-f180.google.com ([209.85.221.180]:53444) by cl-t211-187cl.majeunesse.ca with esmtps (TLS1.2) tls TLS_ECDHE_RSA_WITH_AES_128_GCM_SHA256 (Exim 4.96.2) (envelope-from ) id 1rRz1T-0005Em-0k for ad@garderiekiddykat.com; Mon, 22 Jan 2024 13:27:53 -0500 Received: by mail-vk1-f180.google.com with SMTP id 71dfb90a1353d-4b857733f9aso528276e0c.2 for ; Mon, 22 Jan 2024 10:27:30 -0800 (PST) DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=gmail.com; s=20230601; t=1705948030; x=1706552830; darn=garderiekiddykat.com; h=cc:to:subject:message-id:date:from:in-reply-to:references :mime-version:from:to:cc:subject:date:message-id:reply-to; bh=ATtaXVN3kN6v46kLBdvXcUCZYC39BITjqcmmDrUQPKQ=; b=ZyP8YQAcgmQNdPqy7tUcFxy4ZJTXZ4e4OgAVOymofMuDP031WKDIBTB5GjSurDQTrE Qny4nUhlg0ywH2hr4iswytTDfyu0Cd0bFFtc/LSFHgZ4aNIALDp45swk4bAb2w9nzQOw dHujPHvhy6avWoJg+agCcyNFzvu75Qv/gnzLTOwRcUveFYtQw4ndKll0r6bfcclDkMmI sWWIcrFKX4LC+uRFw3VGbocaHv0Zl+qf3T68IpSe2/B0lnKyptjVS+Umo/dsFU8fY2KW 6qJy9Ougy5FJbduhVfN5OvV6jtvfw5+qXoNT23Fi970fbyH1KLksU20vmoWOZ1Jw8bqA VnOw== X-Google-DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=1e100.net; s=20230601; t=1705948030; x=1706552830; h=cc:to:subject:message-id:date:from:in-reply-to:references :mime-version:x-gm-message-state:from:to:cc:subject:date:message-id :reply-to; bh=ATtaXVN3kN6v46kLBdvXcUCZYC39BITjqcmmDrUQPKQ=; b=ZPBCX3n+nqMUBQ061cE2CPs4ARqLYKeWP3fe590nIP3smarPoMPmcdTnPDBdjh/AoO 4YKY25zhxH8SHFpXJEZinnhLgGqx9J3TSP2khU61LlN44xfovPNnyixuQDdbs0T0q+AI cKv8iOjN3ysCrRjNHxIapg6RE2XoTFRLbCiM5oXkrq7+uF9Kpr8dmuX+02smG8k3Rfrm G5nHHEs0librqwUWIK8cS+zmdGL7reQ7mhQwPnaHq7y3FjmCaVhitN3Qt+EMAseLRx9u 6vQv94yrTjnCp8XCjSbW/B6QPvp+lSBDM6J2siojujYPePz6NXJiyxFGbRRr2QDmV7TU y5Jg== X-Gm-Message-State: AOJu0YwAedIkeic166NWigLHUtrSwxPc50KjwCvMa/Sm5vng3Ai2iTTn YjKpX0eVjrCGWvSaOAd21ZTpw0n2PSXUzGLR5ImSAWhELO25PietboGA2Eu0KpEd8fJRSJxdEU7 ZfG3oGsRbiUhMQRme1xjWVWaNN19uKo0KEPE= X-Google-Smtp-Source: AGHT+IG2DkujRhUnFp91HvqxJhSup2KI8TXwcqqaHNTrgNTIbqR0FfB8nz3VM+c+Izohr62XItaf/A6vVQE+KhMCEcg= X-Received: by 2002:a05:6122:9a9:b0:4b6:c37b:726e with SMTP id g41-20020a05612209a900b004b6c37b726emr1669475vkd.18.1705948029628; Mon, 22 Jan 2024 10:27:09 -0800 (PST) MIME-Version: 1.0 References: <94125c77a6cd674e50032e33b5939707@garderiekiddykat.com> In-Reply-To: From: Will Attar Date: Mon, 22 Jan 2024 13:26:58 -0500 Message-ID: Subject: Re: Concern With Ben To: Mehwaish Raja Cc: Amelie Martins , Marnie Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="0000000000004fb9af060f8cfad9" X-Spam-Status: No, score=-0.2 X-Spam-Score: -1 X-Spam-Bar: / X-Ham-Report: Spam detection software, running on the system "cl-t211-187cl.majeunesse.ca", has NOT identified this incoming email as spam. The original message has been attached to this so you can view it or label similar future email. If you have any questions, see root\@localhost for details. Content preview: Hi, I can be there for 4pm See you then! Content analysis details: (-0.2 points, 5.0 required) pts rule name description ---- ---------------------- -------------------------------------------------- 0.0 URIBL_BLOCKED ADMINISTRATOR NOTICE: The query to URIBL was blocked. See http://wiki.apache.org/spamassassin/DnsBlocklists#dnsbl-block for more information. [URIs: garderiekiddykat.com] 0.0 FREEMAIL_FROM Sender email is commonly abused enduser mail provider [willyattar[at]gmail.com] -0.0 SPF_PASS SPF: sender matches SPF record 0.0 HTML_FONT_LOW_CONTRAST BODY: HTML font color similar or identical to background 0.0 HTML_MESSAGE BODY: HTML included in message -0.1 DKIM_VALID_AU Message has a valid DKIM or DK signature from author's domain 0.1 DKIM_SIGNED Message has a DKIM or DK signature, not necessarily valid -0.1 DKIM_VALID_EF Message has a valid DKIM or DK signature from envelope-from domain -0.1 DKIM_VALID Message has at least one valid DKIM or DK signature -0.0 T_SCC_BODY_TEXT_LINE No description available. X-Spam-Flag: NO --0000000000004fb9af060f8cfad9 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="UTF-8" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable Hi, I can be there for 4pm See you then! Will On Mon, Jan 22, 2024 at 12:40=E2=80=AFPM Mehwaish Raja wrote: > Hi, > > What is the best time today? I will be there from 3 to 4:30. > > Let me know, > > > > Mehwaish Raja > Director > Garderie Kiddy Kat > 514-685-7053 > > > On Mon, Jan 22, 2024 at 12:36=E2=80=AFPM Will Attar wrote: > >> Hi! >> >> Is it possible to do this in person at the school? >> >> On Mon, Jan 22, 2024 at 10:41=E2=80=AFAM Mehwaish Raja >> wrote: >> >>> Good Morning Will and Amelie, >>> >>> We hope you are doing well. We hear your concerns. To further clarify >>> this, I think it is best that we speak to each other on the phone. >>> >>> When is the best time to call you? >>> >>> I am available to hop on a call from now until 2 pm. >>> >>> Let me know. >>> >>> Talk to you soon, >>> >>> Mehwaish Raja >>> >>> >>> On Sat, Jan 20, 2024 at 1:41=E2=80=AFAM Will Attar wrote: >>> >>>> Hi, >>>> >>>> I hope you can understand the position we=E2=80=99re in and our perspe= ctive on >>>> the matter. Trust is very important here and when it comes to my kid, = I >>>> can=E2=80=99t accept any assumptions. >>>> >>>> I appreciate you taking the time to speak with Ms Ghazala. I understan= d >>>> that there=E2=80=99s a long history and it is reassuring that there ar= e no prior >>>> issues or complaints. We=E2=80=99ve spoken to her in the past about no= t doing a few >>>> things a certain way with Ben, and it didn=E2=80=99t seem to stick, so= hopefully it >>>> does if it comes from you. >>>> >>>> I=E2=80=99d like to reiterate that the questions I=E2=80=99d like to a= nswer are: =E2=80=9CWhat=E2=80=99s >>>> actually going on here? Why does he have this unique behavior around h= er?=E2=80=9D >>>> I want to know what made him develop these emotions to Ms Ghazala and = why >>>> are they only directed at her. Maybe they=E2=80=99re rational, maybe t= hey=E2=80=99re >>>> not; regardless, the emotions and feelings are valid. The request to l= ook >>>> at footage is to see what the whole story is over an extended period o= f >>>> time, not just today. This is something that=E2=80=99s been getting wo= rse over >>>> months. >>>> >>>> Since joining Kiddy Kat, many teacher and caregivers have come and >>>> gone, all of whom have interacted with Ben. So far, he has only ever >>>> displayed these emotions with one person. >>>> >>>> While it=E2=80=99s possible that there could just be an incompatibilit= y with >>>> Ben and Ms Ghazala, it seems quick to assume that this is the answer t= o the >>>> above questions. I=E2=80=99d rather know for certain that this is actu= ally what=E2=80=99s >>>> happening or if there=E2=80=99s something else going on. It would be i= rresponsible >>>> of me not to ask for a definitive answer. If it=E2=80=99s a conflict o= f >>>> personality, then we should able to see =E2=80=9CWhen Ms Ghazala does = xyz, Ben >>>> shows discomfort and is unhappy.=E2=80=9D Something outside of =E2=80= =9Cnormal toddler >>>> problem=E2=80=9D. >>>> >>>> I don=E2=80=99t believe this is a case of separation anxiety at drop o= ff. It >>>> really is a child not being comfortable with being left alone with thi= s >>>> specific adult. You both have seen Ben reluctant to leave at the end o= f the >>>> day because he=E2=80=99s so happy there, but if she=E2=80=99s the only= adult with him in >>>> the evening, there=E2=80=99s no fight to get him to leave. With Ms Taz= in the >>>> mornings, it=E2=80=99s rare when he doesn=E2=80=99t want to be dropped= off, and how he acts >>>> in those moments really does line up with separation anxiety. He never >>>> hides from Ms Taz. >>>> >>>> At this point, I=E2=80=99m asking for a commitment to do a deeper dive= into >>>> investigating this matter. Until I feel we find the source of these >>>> emotions and why they=E2=80=99re solely directed at Ms Ghazala, I can= =E2=80=99t leave Ben >>>> alone with her. I would be more comfortable dropping him off a bit >>>> later or picking him up a bit earlier if it means he=E2=80=99s more co= mfortable. >>>> >>>> >>>> I want to be notified ahead of time if Ms. Ghazala is going to be the >>>> only caregiver at drop off, as well as the time at which another staff >>>> member would show up. For the evenings, I would like to know ahead of = time >>>> if she will be the only adult there with him, and as of what time she = would >>>> become the sole caregiver. >>>> >>>> Ben=E2=80=99s feelings are real and valid. Even if it turns out they m= ight not >>>> be rational, I need to confirm the source of them. I want him to be ab= le to >>>> trust his parents and know that we won=E2=80=99t just leave him alone = with someone >>>> he=E2=80=99s uncomfortable with or afraid to be around. >>>> >>>> If it turns out it is simply a conflict of personality, and Ms. >>>> Ghazala=E2=80=99s adjustment in her approach and interactions with Ben= remove those >>>> negative feelings over times, then great. I=E2=80=99d be ecstatic to k= now that=E2=80=99s >>>> all this is. Until then, I can=E2=80=99t make assumptions that invalid= ate his >>>> feelings. >>>> >>>> Until I feel like we know for certain what=E2=80=99s going on, I would= like for >>>> Amelie and I to receive these advance notifications via email or text.= I >>>> really need to emphasize that not missing these will help keep that >>>> necessary trust we have in you. >>>> >>>> Thanks, >>>> >>>> Will Attar >>>> >>>> >>>> On Fri, Jan 19, 2024 at 5:01=E2=80=AFPM Mehwaish Raja < >>>> garderiekidykat@gmail.com> wrote: >>>> >>>>> Hi Will and Amelie, >>>>> >>>>> We hear your concerns. >>>>> >>>>> Ms. Ghazala has been employed at Kiddy Kat for close to 9 years. She >>>>> has all the qualifications necessary to be with a group of children 0= -6 >>>>> (respecting ratios). While she may not be qualified, she has a certif= icate >>>>> daycare program and her first aid and police background check are up = to >>>>> date. >>>>> >>>>> I have access to the cameras and regularly view them. As per >>>>> your request, I reviewed the baby room cam and Ben is happily playing >>>>> (January 19 2024). I will be happy to show you next week before you p= ick up >>>>> Ben. As Ms. Marnie suggested, we spoke with Ms. Ghazala to provide he= r >>>>> guidance when receiving Ben. >>>>> >>>>> This is the first time I am hearing a concern against Ms. Ghazala. We >>>>> understand your concerns and will further investigate by >>>>> >>>>> 1. Viewing the video of January 19 2024 together. >>>>> 2. We have addressed this with Ms. Ghazala (I explained to her about >>>>> Ben's personality and how she can help him transition into the classr= oom at >>>>> drop off). >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> If you have any questions or further concerns please do not hesitate >>>>> to contact me. >>>>> >>>>> Warm Regards, >>>>> >>>>> Ms. Mehwaish >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> On Fri, Jan 19, 2024 at 4:18=E2=80=AFPM Will Attar >>>>> wrote: >>>>> >>>>>> Hi Marnie, >>>>>> >>>>>> Thank you for the explanation. To be honest, I am not assured by you= r >>>>>> response. >>>>>> >>>>>> It seems like for someone who=E2=80=99s there in case of emergencies= she=E2=80=99s >>>>>> there quite often. I would say she=E2=80=99s definitely there on a r= egular basis >>>>>> and alone with the children, or at least Ben. If she isn=E2=80=99t a= qualified >>>>>> educator, is does she meet the legal requirements and training that >>>>>> childcare providers are normally obligated to follow and renew? This >>>>>> doesn=E2=80=99t help ease my worry about leaving Ben alone with her = at all. >>>>>> >>>>>> I don=E2=80=99t think the issue is that she needs to have Ben=E2=80= =99s temperament >>>>>> or character explained to her. In fact, Ben=E2=80=99s character and = temperament >>>>>> around her are unique and the cause of concern. He=E2=80=99s not lik= e this about >>>>>> anyone else in our lives. He is truly uncomfortable and scared to be= left >>>>>> with her. While I=E2=80=99m sure you don=E2=80=99t mean it this way,= it seems like >>>>>> you=E2=80=99re placing the blame/problem on Ben instead of looking i= nto the concern >>>>>> and asking =E2=80=9CWhat=E2=80=99s actually going on here? Why does = he have this unique >>>>>> behavior around her?=E2=80=9D I=E2=80=99m sure this is one of the re= asons why the daycare >>>>>> has cameras to begin with. >>>>>> >>>>>> I hope you understand why I=E2=80=99m still concerned. I am asking a= gain for >>>>>> some sort of investigation or a commit to have a qualified educator = present >>>>>> anytime she=E2=80=99s there. I need to know that if we have a concer= n, you will be >>>>>> addressing it with a matching level of concern. >>>>>> >>>>>> Thanks, >>>>>> >>>>>> Will Attar >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> On Fri, Jan 19, 2024 at 11:08=E2=80=AFAM Marnie Dideles < >>>>>> ad@garderiekiddykat.com> wrote: >>>>>> >>>>>>> Hi Will and Amelie, >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Thank you so much for email and for voicing your concern. It's >>>>>>> important >>>>>>> for us to know that parents feel comfortable to bring up any >>>>>>> concerns >>>>>>> they have with their child and our center and we appreciate you. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> In regards to your concern with Ben and Ms Ghazala, the first thing >>>>>>> I >>>>>>> will say is that she is part of our on-call replacement staff and i= s >>>>>>> not >>>>>>> with the children on a regular basis. In addition to that, she isn'= t >>>>>>> a >>>>>>> qualified educator and so comes from a position of a devoted mom an= d >>>>>>> grandmother. Rest assured that she truly has the children's best >>>>>>> intention at heart. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> However we hear your concerns about how she has been trying to >>>>>>> receive >>>>>>> him during morning drop off. We will give her more insight on Ben's >>>>>>> temperament and character and ensure that she give him a little bit >>>>>>> more >>>>>>> space in the mornings. We will provide her with additional guidance >>>>>>> in >>>>>>> different ways to connect with the children without so much physica= l >>>>>>> touch. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Again, she is only an on-call replacement staff and so she is only >>>>>>> called in times of emergencies. I hope this provides some clarity >>>>>>> and >>>>>>> reassurance. Don't hesitate to reach out should you have any more >>>>>>> concerns. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Best regards, >>>>>>> >>>>>>> --- >>>>>>> Marnie Dideles; Assistant Director >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Garderie Kiddy Kat ad@garderiekiddykat.com >>>>>>> >>>>>>> On 2024-01-19 08:59, Will Attar wrote: >>>>>>> > Hi Mehwaish and Marnie! >>>>>>> > >>>>>>> > I hope everything is well with you this morning. I wanted to rais= e >>>>>>> a >>>>>>> > concern that we've been having lately. >>>>>>> > >>>>>>> > Usually, Ben is excited to go to school and loves being and kiddy >>>>>>> kat. >>>>>>> > He's excited to arrive in the morning and see Ms Taz, and at the >>>>>>> end >>>>>>> > of the day we have to fight him to leave (you've seen it >>>>>>> yourself). He >>>>>>> > loves his teachers, the lessons, the toys, and his love of the >>>>>>> daycare >>>>>>> > is why we love it. >>>>>>> > >>>>>>> > The only exception is when it comes to Ms Ghazela. Sorry if that'= s >>>>>>> now >>>>>>> > how you spell her name. >>>>>>> > >>>>>>> > If she's there, Ben has no interest in being in the building. He >>>>>>> > cannot get away fast enough. Normally, Ben is usually very friend= ly >>>>>>> > and welcoming of people as long as they respect his personal >>>>>>> > boundaries and give him space if he wants it. He may start off sh= y, >>>>>>> > but he quickly warms up and gets back to his playful self. >>>>>>> Something >>>>>>> > about Ms Ghazela makes him incredibly uncomfortable and unhappy. >>>>>>> > >>>>>>> > I've witnessed a few things I know I haven't been happy with in >>>>>>> terms >>>>>>> > of her behavior. She's a bit overly affectionate, telling the kid= s >>>>>>> > repeatedly that she loves them and grabbing their faces to give >>>>>>> them a >>>>>>> > kiss (which I don't think any educator should do to any child, an= d >>>>>>> > I've seen her do it since Ben was a baby). She will also keep >>>>>>> > hammering him with questions and overwhelm him when he's focussed >>>>>>> on >>>>>>> > something else. At the end of the day he'll want to show us stuff >>>>>>> or >>>>>>> > tell us stuff, and she'll keep interrupting him and asking him to >>>>>>> say >>>>>>> > her name and give her a hug. In the mornings, she'll make stuff u= p >>>>>>> and >>>>>>> > try to lure him away from, and then tell us to leave while he's >>>>>>> > distracted. We're very much against this (we've told her multiple >>>>>>> > times) because this sneaky ditch does nothing to build trust with >>>>>>> our >>>>>>> > child. >>>>>>> > >>>>>>> > The disdain that Ben has for her is not normal, and has me very >>>>>>> > concerned. It's been going on for a while, but it's only gotten >>>>>>> worse. >>>>>>> > I'm at the point where I don't know if I can trust leaving Ben wi= th >>>>>>> > her in the morning, especially if they're alone. I don't know >>>>>>> what's >>>>>>> > going on and I can't be there to watch. >>>>>>> > >>>>>>> > I'd like you to please investigate. I can't have a situation like >>>>>>> this >>>>>>> > where I'm not comfortable with the educator I'm leaving my child >>>>>>> with. >>>>>>> > I need him to know that I value his safety and comfort, and more >>>>>>> > importantly if something is going on, I need to know I raised the >>>>>>> > flags and took action instead of brushing it off. Any lack of >>>>>>> trust in >>>>>>> > this situation means I have to consider other early-education >>>>>>> options >>>>>>> > for Ben. >>>>>>> > >>>>>>> > I know there are cameras in the daycare, so if possible maybe che= ck >>>>>>> > what's going on when she's there in the morning with him. I need >>>>>>> > answers or a solution for this, please. >>>>>>> > >>>>>>> > Thanks for everything you've both done for the kids and the >>>>>>> daycare so >>>>>>> > far. I know there have been a lot of challenges in the past year, >>>>>>> but >>>>>>> > I do feel like an upward tick is starting for Kiddy Kat. >>>>>>> > >>>>>>> > Best, >>>>>>> > >>>>>>> > Will Attar >>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>> >>>>> -- >>>>> FOUNDER & DIRECTOR >>>>> GARDERIE KIDDY KAT INC. >>>>> 7 RUE DU CENTRE COMMERCIAL >>>>> >>>>> ROXBORO H8Y-2N9 >>>>> >>>>> www.garderiekiddykat.com >>>>> 514-685-7053 >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>> >>> -- >>> FOUNDER & DIRECTOR >>> GARDERIE KIDDY KAT INC. >>> 7 RUE DU CENTRE COMMERCIAL >>> >>> ROXBORO H8Y-2N9 >>> >>> www.garderiekiddykat.com >>> 514-685-7053 >>> >>> >>> >>> --0000000000004fb9af060f8cfad9 Content-Type: text/html; charset="UTF-8" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
Hi,=C2=A0

I can be there for 4pm

See you then!

Will

On Mon, Jan 22, 2024 at 12:40=E2=80=AFPM Mehwaish Raja <garderiekidykat@gmail.com> wrote:
=
Hi,

What is the best time today? I will be there from 3 to= 4:30.

Let me know,



Mehwaish Raja
Director
Garderie Kiddy K= at
514-685-7053


On Mon, Jan 22, 2024= at 12:36=E2=80=AFPM Will Attar <willyattar@gmail.com> wrote:
Hi!

Is it possible to do this in person at the school?

On Mon, Jan 22, = 2024 at 10:41=E2=80=AFAM Mehwaish Raja <garderiekidykat@gmail.com> wrote:
=
Good Morning Will and Amelie,=C2=A0=

We hope you=C2=A0are doing well. We hear your concerns.= To further clarify this, I think it is best that we speak to each other on= the phone.=C2=A0

When is the best=C2=A0time to ca= ll you?=C2=A0

I am available to hop on a call from= now until 2 pm.=C2=A0

Let me know.=C2=A0

Talk=C2=A0to you soon,

Mehwaish R= aja


On Sat, Jan 20, 2024 at 1:41=E2=80=AFAM Will Attar = <willyattar@gm= ail.com> wrote:
Hi,

I hope you can understand th= e position we=E2=80=99re in and our perspective on the matter. Trust is ver= y important here and when it comes to my kid, I can=E2=80=99t accept any as= sumptions.=C2=A0

I appre= ciate you taking the time to speak with Ms Ghazala. I understand that there= =E2=80=99s a long history and it is reassuring that there are no prior issu= es or complaints. We=E2=80=99ve spoken to her in the past about not doing a= few things a certain way with Ben, and it didn=E2=80=99t seem to stick, so= hopefully it does if it comes from you.=C2=A0

<= /div>
I=E2=80=99d like to reiterate that the questions I= =E2=80=99d like to answer are:=C2=A0=E2=80=9CWhat=E2=80=99s ac= tually going on here? Why does he have this unique behavior around her?=E2= =80=9D I want to know what made him develop these emotions to Ms Ghazala an= d why are they=C2=A0only directed at her. Maybe they=E2= =80=99re rational, maybe they=E2=80=99re not; regardless, the emotions and = feelings are valid. The request to look at footage is to see what the whole= story is over an extended period of time, not just today. This is somethin= g that=E2=80=99s been getting worse over months.=C2=A0

Since joining Kiddy Kat, many teacher= and caregivers have come and gone, all of whom have interacted with Ben. S= o far, he has only ever displayed these emotions with one person.=C2=A0

While it=E2=80=99s possible= that there could just be an incompatibility with Ben and Ms Ghazala, it se= ems quick to assume that this is the answer to the above questions. I=E2=80= =99d rather know for certain that this is actually what=E2=80=99s happening= or if there=E2=80=99s something else going on. It would be irresponsible o= f me not to ask for a definitive answer. If it=E2=80=99s a conflict of pers= onality, then we should able to see =E2=80=9CWhen Ms Ghazala does xyz, Ben = shows discomfort and is unhappy.=E2=80=9D Something outside of =E2=80=9Cnor= mal toddler problem=E2=80=9D.=C2=A0

I don=E2=80=99t believe this is=C2=A0a case of separation anxiety at drop off. It really is a chi= ld not being comfortable with being left alone with this specific adult. Yo= u both have seen Ben reluctant to leave at the end of the day because he=E2= =80=99s so happy there, but if she=E2=80=99s the only adult with him in the= evening, there=E2=80=99s no fight to get him to leave. With Ms Taz in the = mornings, it=E2=80=99s rare when he doesn=E2=80=99t want to be dropped off,= and how he acts in those moments really does line up with separation anxie= ty. He never hides from Ms Taz.=C2=A0

At this point, I=E2= =80=99m asking for a commitment to do a deeper dive into investigating this= matter. Until I feel we find the source of these emotions and why they=E2= =80=99re solely directed at Ms Ghazala, I can=E2=80=99t leave Ben alone wit= h her. I=C2=A0would be more c= omfortable dropping him off a bit later or picking him up a bit earlier if = it means he=E2=80=99s more comfortable.=C2=A0

I want to be = notified ahead of time if Ms. Ghazala is going to be the only caregiver at = drop off, as well as the time at which another staff member would show up. = For the evenings, I would like to know ahead of time if she will be the onl= y adult there with him, and as of what time she would become the sole careg= iver.=C2=A0

Ben=E2=80=99s feelings are real and valid. Even= if it turns out they might not be rational, I need to confirm the source o= f them. I want him to be able to trust his parents and know that we won=E2= =80=99t just leave him alone with someone he=E2=80=99s uncomfortable with o= r afraid to be around.=C2=A0
If it turns out it is simply a= conflict of personality, and Ms. Ghazala=E2=80=99s adjustment in her appro= ach and interactions with Ben remove those negative feelings over times, th= en great. I=E2=80=99d be ecstatic to know that=E2=80=99s all this is. Until= then, I can=E2=80=99t make assumptions that invalidate his feelings.

Until I f= eel like we know for certain what=E2=80=99s going on, I would like for Amel= ie and I to receive these advance notifications via email or text. I really= need to emphasize that not missing these will help keep that necessary tru= st we have in you.=C2=A0

Thanks,=C2=A0

Will Attar


On Fri, Jan 19, 2024 at 5:01=E2=80=AFPM Mehwai= sh Raja <= garderiekidykat@gmail.com> wrote:
Hi=C2=A0Will and Amelie,=C2=A0
We hear your concerns.=C2=A0

Ms. G= hazala has been employed at Kiddy Kat for close to 9 years. She has all the= =C2=A0qualifications necessary to be with a group of children 0-6 (respecti= ng ratios). While she may not be qualified, she=C2=A0has a certificate dayc= are program and her first aid and police background=C2=A0check are up to da= te.=C2=A0

I have access to the cameras and regular= ly=C2=A0view them. As per your=C2=A0request, I reviewed=C2=A0the=C2=A0baby = room cam and Ben is happily playing (January 19 2024). I will be=C2=A0happy= to show you next week before=C2=A0you pick up Ben. As Ms. Marnie suggested= , we spoke with Ms. Ghazala to provide=C2=A0her guidance when receiving Ben= .=C2=A0

This is the=C2=A0first time I am hearing a= concern against Ms. Ghazala. We understand your concerns and will further = investigate by=C2=A0

1. Viewing the video of Janua= ry 19 2024 together.=C2=A0
2. We have addressed this with Ms. Gha= zala (I explained to her about Ben's personality and how she can help h= im transition into the classroom at drop off).=C2=A0


If you have any questions or further concerns please=C2= =A0do not hesitate to contact me.

Warm Regards,

Ms. Mehwaish=C2=A0



On Fri, Jan 19, 2024 at 4:18=E2=80=AFPM Will Attar <willyattar@gmail.com> wrote:=
Hi Marnie,=C2=A0

Thank you for the explanation. To be = honest, I am not assured by your response.=C2=A0
It seems like for someone who=E2=80=99s there in c= ase of emergencies she=E2=80=99s there quite often. I would say she=E2=80= =99s definitely there on a regular basis and alone with the children, or at= least Ben. If she isn=E2=80=99t a qualified educator, is does she meet the= legal requirements and training that childcare providers are normally obli= gated to follow and renew? This doesn=E2=80=99t help ease my worry about le= aving Ben alone with her at all.=C2=A0

I don=E2=80=99t think the issue is that she needs to have Be= n=E2=80=99s temperament or character explained to her. In fact, Ben=E2=80= =99s character and temperament around her are unique and the cause of conce= rn. He=E2=80=99s not like this about anyone else in our lives. He is truly = uncomfortable and scared to be left with her. While I=E2=80=99= m sure you don=E2=80=99t mean it this way, it seems like you=E2=80=99re pla= cing the blame/problem on Ben instead of looking into the concern and askin= g =E2=80=9CWhat=E2=80=99s actually going on here? Why does he have this uni= que behavior around her?=E2=80=9D I=E2=80=99m sure this is one of the reaso= ns why the daycare has cameras to begin with.=C2=A0

I hope you understand why I=E2=80=99= m still concerned. I am asking again for some sort of investigation or a co= mmit to have a qualified educator present anytime she=E2=80=99s there. I ne= ed to know that if we have a concern, you will be addressing it with a matc= hing level of concern.=C2=A0

Thanks,

Will Attar<= /div>


On Fri, Jan 19, 2024 at 11:08=E2=80=AFAM Ma= rnie Dideles <ad@garderiekiddykat.com> wrote:
Hi Will= and Amelie,

Thank you so much for email and for voicing your concern. It's importan= t
for us to know that parents feel comfortable to bring up any concerns
they have with their child and our center and we appreciate you.

In regards to your concern with Ben and Ms Ghazala, the first thing I
will say is that she is part of our on-call replacement staff and is not with the children on a regular basis. In addition to that, she isn't a =
qualified educator and so comes from a position of a devoted mom and
grandmother. Rest assured that she truly has the children's best
intention at heart.

However we hear your concerns about how she has been trying to receive
him during morning drop off. We will give her more insight on Ben's temperament and character and ensure that she give him a little bit more space in the mornings. We will provide her with additional guidance in
different ways to connect with the children without so much physical
touch.

Again, she is only an on-call replacement staff and so she is only
called in times of emergencies. I hope this provides some clarity and
reassurance. Don't hesitate to reach out should you have any more
concerns.

Best regards,

---
Marnie Dideles; Assistant Director

Garderie Kiddy Kat=C2=A0 ad@garderiekiddykat.com

On 2024-01-19 08:59, Will Attar wrote:
> Hi Mehwaish and Marnie!
>
> I hope everything is well with you this morning. I wanted to raise a > concern that we've been having lately.
>
> Usually, Ben is excited to go to school and loves being and kiddy kat.=
> He's excited to arrive in the morning and see Ms Taz, and at the e= nd
> of the day we have to fight him to leave (you've seen it yourself)= . He
> loves his teachers, the lessons, the toys, and his love of the daycare=
> is why we love it.
>
> The only exception is when it comes to Ms Ghazela. Sorry if that's= now
> how you spell her name.
>
> If she's there, Ben has no interest in being in the building. He > cannot get away fast enough. Normally, Ben is usually very friendly > and welcoming of people as long as they respect his personal
> boundaries and give him space if he wants it. He may start off shy, > but he quickly warms up and gets back to his playful self. Something > about Ms Ghazela makes him incredibly uncomfortable and unhappy.
>
> I've witnessed a few things I know I haven't been happy with i= n terms
> of her behavior. She's a bit overly affectionate, telling the kids=
> repeatedly that she loves them and grabbing their faces to give them a=
> kiss (which I don't think any educator should do to any child, and=
> I've seen her do it since Ben was a baby). She will also keep
> hammering him with questions and overwhelm him when he's focussed = on
> something else. At the end of the day he'll want to show us stuff = or
> tell us stuff, and she'll keep interrupting him and asking him to = say
> her name and give her a hug. In the mornings, she'll make stuff up= and
> try to lure him away from, and then tell us to leave while he's > distracted. We're very much against this (we've told her multi= ple
> times) because this sneaky ditch does nothing to build trust with our<= br> > child.
>
> The disdain that Ben has for her is not normal, and has me very
> concerned. It's been going on for a while, but it's only gotte= n worse.
> I'm at the point where I don't know if I can trust leaving Ben= with
> her in the morning, especially if they're alone. I don't know = what's
> going on and I can't be there to watch.
>
> I'd like you to please investigate. I can't have a situation l= ike this
> where I'm not comfortable with the educator I'm leaving my chi= ld with.
> I need him to know that I value his safety and comfort, and more
> importantly if something is going on, I need to know I raised the
> flags and took action instead of brushing it off. Any lack of trust in=
> this situation means I have to consider other early-education options<= br> > for Ben.
>
> I know there are cameras in the daycare, so if possible maybe check > what's going on when she's there in the morning with him. I ne= ed
> answers or a solution for this, please.
>
> Thanks for everything you've both done for the kids and the daycar= e so
> far. I know there have been a lot of challenges in the past year, but<= br> > I do feel like an upward tick is starting for Kiddy Kat.
>
> Best,
>
> Will Attar


--
FOUNDER & DIRECTOR
GARDERIE KIDDY KAT INC.
7 RUE DU CEN= TRE COMMERCIAL
514= -685-7053





--
FOUNDER & DIRECTOR
GARDERIE KIDDY KAT INC.
7 RUE DU CEN= TRE COMMERCIAL
514= -685-7053



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